Shit you don’t know about me
There’s this girl, Heather, who I absolutely love. Even though she’s been known to wear cowboy hats and listen to country music.* She writes this blog, The Wishful Writer, which is 10 liters of Cola in a 1 liter cup. Enough with the background story. She challenged me to tell my readers seven things they didn’t know about me (which she did here). So, here goes.
1. Though you wouldn’t know by looking at me, I am over 13 feet tall. As you can imagine, being this tall would make it extremely difficult to walk through doors. Which is why I keep most of my height (6 feet or so) in an extra-dimensional pocket. This not only makes walking through doors easier, it keeps birds from roosting in my beard. Most birds, anyway.
02.16.08Five things I want my future child to know…
5. You’re adopted. Sorry you had to find out this way.
4. Your biological mother didn’t love you, and she was likely a whore.
3. I never had sex with that guy.
2. Despite what your grandmother tells you, she doesn’t love you as much as her biological grandchildren.
1. I named you after my Final Fantasy IX character.
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