Watch. This. Now.

Ape — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 17:26:25 +0000

If you missed Heroes last night, and love it like I do, here it is in all its high-res beauty. I’ll review it on Friday, in my “As Seen on TV” series, but thought I’d post the video here today to make it easy for anyone who missed it. There are a couple moments of bad writing (which I’ll cover Friday), but overall this episode was stellar. We didn’t see the ending coming in any way. Unfortunately, and this is a mild spoiler, Mohinder doesn’t die. Ever since he became the Company’s lapdog and betrayed his friends just at Bob’s word has made me hate him. I want him to die and die painfully. If he even remotely thinks the Company (and Bob, especially) is being honest with him, he’s as stupid as a retard trying to hump a doorknob*. As this episode ends Volume II: Generations, there’s a teaser for Volume III: Villains at the very end. And, even though I saw it coming a mile away, it was still a great scene, with a lot of promise for Heroes return. Whenever that might be. Who knows how long those greedy writers and greedy studios will take to agree on terms. Assholes. But, that’s another post.
Enjoy the Video, after the break:

*Yeah, I stole that line from Dodgeball. Just like I did the last time. And just like I will the next time. In fact, you might as well get used to metaphors involving retards humping doorknobs, because they ain’t goin’ nowhere.

I think I just impregnated my underwear

Ape — Tue, 01 May 2007 03:50:16 +0000

Tonight’s episode of Heroes was like listening to Psychobilly Freakout and watching The Invisible Woman and She-Hulk double-teaming Spider-man while eating a Reese’s peanut-butter cup Blizzard and getting a blow-job from Jean Grey.

Roughly translated for the women, tonight’s episode of Heroes was like having dinner with Brad Pitt, who for some reason, is listening to you talk about your day without looking bored.

hOnest aPe » 95

Watch. This. Now.

I think I just impregnated my underwear