Hey men, are you curious to see how big your John-Thomas is? Curious enough to print out a chart and whip your goods out? If so, the fine people over at Rubbot have designed a pdf that will measure your length and width. Or, as my beautiful wife told me, “Just get it hard and put it up against the monitor.” Good in theory, but my monitor cords are too short. Oh well. No worries, I didn’t actually print it out, but not because I’m too good to measure my schlong. I have no shame, after all. It was only because my color ink cartridge was out. Oh, and because I’ve already measured the length and width. So, why bother doing it all over again just because I get to use a fancy chart instead of the measuring tape from my wife’s sewing kit? But, hey, nothing’s stopping you from doing it. Just don’t ask my results, or you might get depressed the next time you look in your underpants. And I don’t want that. Because I like you.