There’s this girl, Heather, who I absolutely love. Even though she’s been known to wear cowboy hats and listen to country music.* She writes this blog, The Wishful Writer, which is 10 liters of Cola in a 1 liter cup. Enough with the background story. She challenged me to tell my readers seven things they [...]
I can’t imagine what excuse you’d give for being found with your dick in a vacuum at a car-wash. Other than the obvious “just getting my dick sucked” that is. Either way, not a crime you want plastered all over the internet.
Dear Boss,
Fuck you.
Sincerely,
Honest Ape
The web is great, isn’t it? Seriously. All the data you could ever want or need, at your fingertips. Friends to meet and share thoughts and ideas with from all over the world. Great web applications that allow you to share interesting information with your friends and spark conversations. Well…in theory, anyway.
Here’s the big problem [...]
Dearest Fuckwits,
For months now, every few weeks, you fill our garbage can with your shit. Sometimes, so full we can’t put our own garbage in it. Are you not aware that we pay for our garbage pick-up? Oh, that can’t possibly be true. Everyone on our street has to pay for it. You can’t think [...]
While grocery shopping today, my wife and I saw a teenager, maybe 16 years old, playing air guitar while his mom was getting deli meat. But then we realized something. He wasn’t playing air guitar. He was playing air guitar hero. His fingers were moving as if they were pressing buttons and his other hand [...]
I just finished watching one of the most touching and inspirational videos I have ever seen. Randy Pausch, a man dying of Pancreatic Cancer, can teach you more about life and living well than any book. He’s a man with only a few more months to live, but his lecture is anything but morbid. I [...]
I’m going to try something new this week, and write a series of posts called “Untangling the Web.” There are a lot of great services out there on the web that you may not know about, and I aims to change that. Starting Monday, you can expect 1-2 posts in this series every day, until [...]
Valentine’s Day is a fucking stupid holiday. If you need a holiday to get you to show your loved one how much you care, you’re doing it wrong. You should show them how much you love them every day. Valentine’s Day is, for many men, like Church is for bad Christians. Be a shit all [...]
Today was my first day of my “Partial Hospitalization” program. In case you’re wondering what that is, allow me to educate you. Partial Hospitalization is going to a supervised environment, with aggressive therapy and medical management. The “Partial” refers to the fact that I get to come home at night. It was an uncomfortable situation, [...]