hOnest aPe

As Seen on TV

So, here it is. The first of six regular features coming your way here at the Ape. Entitled “As Seen on TV”, this feature will be a quick review of some of the week’s best shows, with links to places you can watch the shows online. Better yet, I’ll be able to embed a handful of shows on the site, allowing you to either watch the shows here or pop-out the video window by itself. As for my reviews, don’t hope for spoilers, because you’re not getting them. Teasers and hints, maybe. If you want spoilers, that’s what Google’s for. And now, on with the show.

Journeyman: Blowback→ B+

In this week’s Journeyman, Dan discovers that his actions in the past have real consequences, as the killer he helped apprehend last episode comes looking for him. When Dan, after getting shot, is unintentionally yanked into the past, the killer targets Dan’s wife and son instead. Meanwhile, the mystery about Dan’s FBI investigation is cleared up, as his brother finds out the agent handling his case has far more information on Dan than previously thought. Overall, another solid effort from the Journeyman team. Which is depressing considering rumors of the show’s imminent cancellation. Sigh…

Heroes: Truth and Consequences→ A-

The action really amps up this week, preparing for next week’s season finale (thanks for that, stupid writer’s strike). On the bright side, the writers had already split this season up into two story-lines, which means the current Shanti Virus storyline will be wrapped up next week.
The main story focuses on Peter and Adam in search of the Shanti Virus, which leads them to track down the mysterious Victoria Pratt, who is (other than Angela Petrelli) the sole remaining co-founder of “The Company”. Initially, Victoria lies to them, but Peter uses his gifts to get the truth from her. As they leave, Adam’s motives become clearer, but I won’t spoil anything to tell you how. Afterwards, they head to Primatech Paper, where Hiro waits to avenge his father’s death. Hiro and Peter clash, as Hiro tries to kill Adam and Peter tries to stop him.
Meanwhile, Niki and Micah are reunited. Their reunion goes south thanks to Monica’s failed attempt at being a super-hero, which leads her to be taken hostage, setting up for an important scene next week.
Sylar and Maja’s relationship grows, as Sylar begins to twist her to his dark purposes and pull her away from her brother.
As the episode ends, Mohinder gets a scary call from Sylar, who we see hovering over Molly’s bed.
Other than that, there are scenes of Claire dealing with her father’s death while her dad, not at all dead, finds out he’s a prisoner of “The Company.”
The tagline for next week is that “two Heroes will die and a villain will rise.” As you may know, all super-powered individuals or main characters have been referred to as Heroes by the show’s creators, whether or not they are good or evil. So, such a tagline could go any number of ways.
But, in my opinion, here’s how it’s going down:
Dead: Sylar, Niki
Villain: Matt Parkman in a surprise twist. It’s easy to turn evil when you can control people’s minds and thoughts, no?

Chuck: Chuck Vs. The Nemesis→ A-
I love Chuck. This show has yet to disappoint me, and this week was no exception. Chuck’s past nemesis, Bryce Larkin, who was discovered alive last episode, escapes custody and makes life hell for Chuck, though everything is not what it seems. Throw in the chaos of “Black Friday,” Thanksgiving dinner and the word “Watermelon,” and you’ve got another funny, memorable episode on your hands. Interested?
Watch it here.

How I Met your Mother: The Yips→ A-
Barney finds his life shattered when he discovers that his first sexual encounter was arranged and paid for by his brother and the compliments that he gave her afterward were lies. In order to get his mojo back, Barney does what any of us would do; He decides to find his first conquest and earn it this time. Of course, that conquest is some twenty years older than him and an old friend of his mother, but you know Barney’s not going to let that stop him. As usual, Neil Patrick Harris steals the show, showing us again why he got an emmy for the role. Other stuff happens with the rest of the characters, with humorous consequences.
Watch it here.

Bones: The Santa in the Slush→ B+

Taking a break from the ongoing Gormagon serial-killer storyline, Booth and Brennan star in a somewhat lighthearted Christmas tale involving the death of Santa Claus. Wait. That doesn’t sound lighthearted at all. Oh well.

Shot of Love with Tila Tequila→ B+
If you’re not watching this show, you’re missing out on a fun ride. After all, it’s not often that you get a “Bi-sexual Dating Show.” This week, Tila traveled to the homes of the four remaining competitors, two girls and two guys, being sure to tell their families of her bi-sexual status, shocking the more conservative ones and getting a “so what” from the others. As you would expect, hilarity ensues.

Watch it here.

Life:Serious Control Issues→ A

Life continues to be my favorite new show of the season. If I had to guess why, I’d have to say it’s less the premise and more the acting and writing. They shine every episode. Damien Lewis, as Charlie Crews, the cop who spent 15 years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit, is amazing. I can’t believe I’ve never seen him before, as he’s a phenomenal talent. It’s not an easy role to carry, but he does it with ease. This week’s Life continues to deal with the aftermath of Detective Ames’ death and the ongoing investigation of Crews for the murder by Internal Affairs. Despite this, Crews continues his job as normal, investigating the death of a 14 year-old girl and a 12 year-old kidnapping which may or may not be related to each other. If you don’t watch Life, you should. It’s what Jesus would do.

Criminal Minds: True Night→ B+
Last week’s episode focused on Garcia’s recuperation from her gunshot wound and the capture of her attacker. She may be my favorite character on the show, but the episode will definitely go down among my least favorites, from the pseudo-geek talk that any web-savvy person would realize for the bullshit that it is to the annoying sparks of romance for Nicholas Brenden (Xander from Buffy in a guest-spot) because of their computer-hackery interests. While the acting and interaction between characters was as good as usual, any time the writers dealt with Garcia’s computer or tried to write geek-speak, they came across as weak as the people who write techno-babble in hollywood films. But enough about last week. This week’s episode was rather entertaining overall, with a memorable guest shot by Frankie Muniz as a troubled comic-book writer. While the story was solid and involving, I thought it was still a little off, dropping the usual format to focus more on Muniz than the BAU (Behavioral Analysis Unit) staff. Still, worth the watch, especially for the Frank Miller and “Sin City” inspired scenes that Muniz imagines as he draws his comics.
Watch it here.

Dirty Sexy Money: The Watch→ A-
In tonight’s episode, the big secret about Nick’s half-sibling is revealed. Of course, no matter how much I wanted it to be Karen who was secretly related to Nick, I guess ABC thought a storyline involving unintentional past incest wasn’t right for them. As for who Nick’s new sibling is, well, that would be telling, wouldn’t it?
In other happenings on the show, Nick’s wife, Lisa, is recruited by Jeremy to help him firm up the fake life that he has created to hide his wealth from his love interest. This looks like it will turn into a rather interesting storyline, as the previews for next week’s episode show Jeremy and Lisa kissing. Spicy, eh?
In other minor story-lines, Patrick recovers from his wife-inflicted shotgun wound and has a heart-to-heart with Carmelita, his shemale-on-the-side and Brian comes to grips with his son leaving for Brazil. Oh yeah, and Karen and Simon Elder get…..well, I’m not going to ruin it for you, but here’s a hint:
They do it. Sex-style.
Watch it here

The Office: NO OFFICE!→ F
That’s it. With no warning, the show is done for the season, thanks to the fucking writer’s strike. What a pile of shit.

30 Rock: Cougars→ A-
As usual, 30 Rock hits one out of the park this week with a hilarious episode focusing on May-December relationships, as both Jenna and Liz start dating 20 year-olds. The side story, with Kenneth, Tracey and Jack starting a Little League team, is also a riot. Not much more to say except this: Tina Fey’s funny and hot. What more do you need?

Survivor China→ B
Survivor is one of the most uneven shows on television. Not from episode to episode, but from season to season. One season can be captivating television, yet another can be total shit. Luckily, this season is one of the captivating ones.
This week, my favorite contestant of all time, James, has those who are supposed to be his closest friends turning on him, leading to an edge-of-your-seat tribal council. What happened? Did James get hoodwinked and get sent home? Did he use one of his two immunity idols? Like I’m going to tell you.

Well, folks, that’s it. Friday-Sunday programming will be added as part of the regular reviews starting next week, but it didn’t work out this time, as it’s my first outing. Hope you enjoy this and future “As Seen on TV’s,” which I will continue to format and tweak to make them better, including a bit at the end highlighting interesting programming coming up the following week.