In which I audition for Silent Night, Deadly Night VI
Okay, maybe there’s no plan for a SNDN 6…. If there were, I’d be a shoo-in based on this creepy-ass photo of myself from a few years ago that I just stumbled across. Be afraid. Be very afraid. But not of me. I just look scary. Be afraid of rats. They spread plague. Ick.
In which I impress women with my mastery of Haiku
Water flows smoothly
over rocks and pebbles.
But not Frankenstein.
A turtle is slow.
deliberate in his ways,
like my drunken father.
Peaches are sweeter
when your eyes are fully closed
and you’re getting blown
The best DVDs you aren’t watching….
There have been some new releases lately that I think are more than worth your time to rent or purchase. I’m not going to go into the ones that have been covered extensively in the media, or overly reviewed. I’m going to throw three DVDs out that there I am almost positive you haven’t seen, but should.
1. The Loop – Season One:
This canceled Fox sitcom was one of the funniest network comedies I have seen in years. Thanks to a strong ensemble cast and witty writing, it’s hard to go a minute without laughing out loud. Focusing on the senior management of a major airline, the Loop follows the trials and tribulations of Sam Sullivan, the youngest executive in the airline’s history. Sam, played by the talented Bret Harrison (next to be seen in the upcoming sitcom “Reaper”) is the perfect straight man to match the show’s collection of oddball characters. His stoner brother (Erik Christian Olsen) is a riot, as is the horny office MILF (Mimi Rogers), but the show’s standout, without question, is the head of the airline, played by Philip Baker Hall. Hall steals every scene he’s in, and shows a comedic side that his previous roles (in movies like Magnolia and Boogie Nights) never even hinted at. Sure, he’s done comedic work in the past, and it’s great, but none of his humorous roles could compare to this. He completely throws all sense of shame out the window, and attacks the role with gusto. Again, the show’s an ensemble and everyone is great, but Hall is the single best reason to grab this DVD. Oh, and the main character has two hot chick roommates. We can’t discount the hotties, can we?
Rating: 4.5 Stars
In which my grandfather is responsible for my hard-on
The other day, we went to my Grandparent’s house so that I could set up their computer. I had already taken the hunk of a PC they got free from a friend and set it up at home, but I still needed to hook them up to the web. Which, unfortunately, means dealing with dial-up.
I know that millions of people still use dial-up. But, to me, using dial-up is roughly akin to committing suicide over a period of nine agonizing hours. Maybe ten.