Archive for June 2007

Awesome or not, I still resent you telling me what to buy

Wah-Wah-Wee-Wah! Now that’s how you do an advertisement. Attach a fabric skirt to a billboard of a hot, underwear-covered ass. Make sure the skirt will fly up if it’s windy. Then, let Mother Nature do the rest. And she will. I happen to know that Mother Nature is a dirty whore who has a thing [...]

Thanks for the award, assholes

I hear you, people. You’re sitting there, saying “HOLY FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?” Calm down, people. It’s just a dog. Sure, it may be the “World’s Ugliest Dog,” but did you have to swear?
No, the dog is not a victim of going three rounds with a coked-up Mike Tyson. This is what [...]

Damn you, Lactic Acid!!

Do you know Shingo Yamamoto or Bunpei Shiratori? Do you cheer whenever you hear the name Makoto Nagano or Ayako Miyake? No? I’m talking about Ninja Fucking Warrior, people! Ninja Warrior? The greatest sports show ever created? You don’t know it??
Sigh…too bad. Allow me to educate you. Take the hardest obstacle course [...]

Zombies + Strippers + Chainsaw = Oscar Gold

I’ve just had my mind blown. And not in a bad way, you know, like with a gun or dynamite. In a good way. In the best way. For I have just seen the trailer to what will certainly go down in history as “The Greatest Story Ever Told.” Yeah, you heard me, Jesus Von [...]

And here we are…..

So. This is the new wordpress theme. I’ll be adding a few alternate color schemes and a few choices for header, then I’ll release it to the public. Which will finally accomplish something I’ve been wanting to do for a year or two.
Until then, I’m all about the posting.

All your down time are belong to us

Hey, you. The site, this one, will be down tonight. I will be working magic and greasing the gears and gizmos that the monkeys use to power this here thing I call Honest Ape. Now you know.

Where I bin

So, I’ve been remiss in posting lately. There are a lot of reasons, but the thing that has taken up my free time the most is creating my very own wordpress theme. In the past, I’ve taken pre-existing themes and altered them extensively. I like the themes I’ve done this way, but none of them [...]

Don’t let the door hit you on the way out

If you watch Grey’s Anatomy, you should know Isaiah Washington. He plays Preston Burke, one of the few characters I can stand.** Depending on how closely you pay attention to the news, you might also know him as the guy who called his co-star, T.R. Night, a faggot. Not once, but twice.
So, now he’s [...]

Dear God

Dear God (a.k.a. Yaweh a.k.a. Allah)
Could you please get down here and take care of your shit? Seriously. Could you just round up your faithful and take them away? It would sure be a lot less noisy and bloody down here.
Yours,
Joshua

Getting it on in Suriname

So, a couple scientists found a bunch of new species in Suriname and some people (nerds) are excited about it. That’s two of them in those pictures up there. Species, not nerds.