Awesome or not, I still resent you telling me what to buy
Wah-Wah-Wee-Wah! Now that’s how you do an advertisement. Attach a fabric skirt to a billboard of a hot, underwear-covered ass. Make sure the skirt will fly up if it’s windy. Then, let Mother Nature do the rest. And she will. I happen to know that Mother Nature is a dirty whore who has a thing for the ladies, and if she likes anything, it’s blowing skirts up.
Want to see some more amazing ads? Of Course you do. Just don’t expect any of the others to be as great as this one.
Thanks for the award, assholes
I hear you, people. You’re sitting there, saying “HOLY FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?” Calm down, people. It’s just a dog. Sure, it may be the “World’s Ugliest Dog,” but did you have to swear?
No, the dog is not a victim of going three rounds with a coked-up Mike Tyson. This is what it normally looks like. I just have to hope the dog doesn’t really understand what’s going on. If I were him and found out that I won “Ugliest Dog,” my owners would be at the receiving end of a good, old-fashioned throat ripping.
Damn you, Lactic Acid!!
Do you know Shingo Yamamoto or Bunpei Shiratori? Do you cheer whenever you hear the name Makoto Nagano or Ayako Miyake? No? I’m talking about Ninja Fucking Warrior, people! Ninja Warrior? The greatest sports show ever created? You don’t know it??
Sigh…too bad. Allow me to educate you. Take the hardest obstacle course you can imagine, and run 100 people through it. Not just athletes. No. Be sure to mix in some idiots, comedians and actors. Weed them down until only one or two are left. Then have them attempt to climb 50 feet in 30 seconds. That, my friends, is Ninja Warrior.
Zombies + Strippers + Chainsaw = Oscar Gold
I’ve just had my mind blown. And not in a bad way, you know, like with a gun or dynamite. In a good way. In the best way. For I have just seen the trailer to what will certainly go down in history as “The Greatest Story Ever Told.” Yeah, you heard me, Jesus Von Sydow. You’re old news. There’s a new messiah in town, and his name is “Zombies, Zombies, Zombies!”
Just look at the poster, for ape’s sake! Hot chicks, zombies, weapons of death…what more do you need? I know what more you need. You need a zombie trying to give a stripper a dollar. Well, shit. Look at the poster again. IT’S GOT THAT TOO!